PETA insists that Groundhog day should feature a robotic groundhog instead of “Phil”, the WonderHog.
Every year in Punxsutawney the tradition is followed where they pull a pampered groundhog out of his cage, thrust him into the air and watch to see if he looks at his shadow. This somehow has a connection to climate patterns and determines how cold it’s going to be for the next six weeks.
Punxsutawney feels differently:
Oh and by the way, in case you were wondering, it’s six weeks of more winter.
This isn’t a post that is about pro-gayness vs. gay-bashing, the consumer vs. big bad evil news networks, Focus on the Family vs. the Pro-Choice Mongers, or Colts vs. the Saints. This isn’t about black vs. white, Team A vs. Team B.
This is a post about advertising and perception.
Most people following either football or gay rights issues have already heard of this growing controversy about Mancrunch.com looking for airspace on the Superbowl, only to be rejected by CBS for any number of convoluted reasons, including its “gayness” factor and the credit score of Mancrunch.com.
If you haven’t seen the ad, here you go:
Let’s discuss this marketing for a second.
First of all, ManCrunch.com? If it has anything to do with sex, I can’t think of one thing in related to sex or romance I would want to associate with using the word “crunch”. If something is crunching, you’re likely doing something absurd or illegal in 22 states. Here’s my thoughts of what happened:
“We need a name. Something catchy. And it needs the word “Man” in it.”
“How about ManCrush? Men having crushes on men. It’s cute, it’s simple, and implies romantic fun some gay men are seeking.”
“Hmm… ManCrush.com. But what if they think it’s about Crushing men? You know, like UFC or Boxing or something?”
“Good point. <pause> Ah hah! Men like eating potato chips. And potato chips go “crunch.”
“Oooooo, ManCrunch.com. I can see the Superbowl commercial already…. register that hot domain name at GoDaddy.com while its HOT!” *See GoDaddy’s effiminately-charged TV ad that was also rejected
So now that we’ve derailed the whole basis of this brand name, let’s delve further into this ad and why it’s total tripe:
First of all this ad sucks because, well, it’s just plain cheap. They must’ve spent all of their money on a single run of Airtime during the Superbowl because the ad looks cheap. It’s a backdrop that looks like it’s been attacked by roadsigns (including a “No Entry” sign), a couch and a bag of potato chips.
Secondly, it’s stupid. Only the most brain-numbed nincompoops would even possibly by amused by this boring and mediocre ad, which unfortunately make up about 80% of Superbowl advertising anymore. There’s nothing intellectually clever or stimulating about it, it’s just two guys watching football who randomly decide to make out to an equally non-clever lyrics “I wanna kiss this guy, I really really really wanna kiss this guy”. So to all of the lofty types, the better-than-thou-because-I’m-not-homophobic crowd, this ad sucks. For a social group stereotyped to be classy, fashionable, and artistic, even the least classy, fashionable, and artistic homosexual can’t even pretend this kind of dumbness does anything to aid the gay community.
Third, and most importantly, let’s evaluate what this ad implies to its audience of 100 million about homosexuality. First we see two men, presumably acting “straight” (because “straight” guys are eating potato chips and watching football in rooms full of road signs). After insulting his buddy, their hands touch reaching for potato chips and the lustful frenzy begins as blondie leaps on top of baldy and starts stage-kissing him. Cue music, cue logo, then we see a curious, confused, and bewildered guy staring from an armchair.
What makes this message different from any other public reaction of homosexuality? Wake up: This isn’t a message of social justice, social rebellion, or even being contrary. They’re trying to sell a product, in this instance a Website membership, drooling to ride a wave of dollars using the same tired perceptions and social controversy of homosexuality used over and over to get attention. In fact, the point of this ad seems to perpetuate the belief that all gays are first and foremost lustful attention-seekers and secondly, well maybe secondly, looking for meaningful relationships.
So you’ve got a mediocre ad that’s stupid and misrepresents the people it claims to represent, going so far as appealing with gay advocacy groups.
In a world of advertising boner pills, financial ads with close-ups of smiling humans, cheap watery beer, and processed corn chips, do what you will with this one. Just do it with common sense, forward-thinking, and principle.
Today let’s honor MLK Jr.
This strong advocate of peaceful protest showed us the true power of protest in bringing change, and probably set up the legacy of peaceful activism we see today. Who ever thought venting your anger through nonviolent passive aggression would have any affect at all? MLK proved it can be done and was ironically killed for it.
Dr. MLK Jr., thanks for making Junk Activism possible. Without you, millions wouldn’t have the courage to stand up for all the things they believe in. You’ve changed the United States in a profound, positive way, offering hope and courage, emphasizing the power of love and forgiveness.
You’ve also imbued them with the courage to stand up for anything, even some who lay down their lives for the most important issues of our current discourse, like rent to own stores, shoe-throwing, cow farts, money-addicted governments, and trees.
Looking forward to a good year of protests in 2010.
Read some of Dr. King’s profound and motivational speeches here.
Scientists in Vienna were sedating pigs and burying them in deep pockets of mountain snow to determine why people don’t suffer severe brain damage when they’re caught in these deep snow pockets.
Well, that didn’t make animal rights groups too happy to know we were burying pigs in mountains of snow, calling it “cruel and pointless”.
Excuse me, pointless? This is fun. It’s my personal belief that these oinkers would’ve volunteered for the job with promises of leftovers, 5 boxes of Twinkies, 3 pounds of cheese, 5 apple cores, and a slab of bacon… er, hold the bacon.
“People are shocked and outraged that such cruel experiments can even be carried out in Austria,” said Gerda Matias, president of the International Union of Animal Experiment Opponents.
The International Union of Animal Experiment Opponents. Interesting there is one of those, I’m assuming it’s abbreviated IUAEO. Or Eyeyouay-ye-oh.
As much fun as it is killing animals for reasons other than food or security, we simply can’t bury them in snow and read their brain activity.
So we’re stuck with a problem. These experiments must be done, but who should we do them on? If we want real hard data on brain damage in the snow, we should be burying people in the Austrian Alps. Cmon, if you’re scientists, why haven’t you figured that out yet?!
Of course the only logiacal way to do this is to start from the bottom up:
2) Animal Rights Activists
3) Senior Citizens
4) Bankers and CEOs
Look, maybe it’s not as “ethical” as using animals, but we’re talking about science here. And we need hard facts, people.
Ok, so while I typically use this blog as a way to grandstand my opinions, talk down to others’ protests, and generally be a jerk-off towards activists… deep down I’m sincerely concerned about the welfare of others and have a soft spot for the developing world.
I’ve been to South Africa and Thailand (which was one of the least impacted countries in the 2005 tsunamis that devastated Southeast Asia.)
The pain & suffering is widespread and is affecting millions of the world’s most impoverished people. Some are still buried under rubble, they need food, water, medical supplies, and mobility in a country that has next to no infrastructure.
Let me tell you – this situation in Haiti right now is dire. We are talking about Katrina-type devastation in the poorest country in the world. This could turn out to be like Katrina x10 if help does not get there fast. Many of these people have lost what little they have left and will starve or die of diseases that could easily have been treated. It is critical – life and death critical - that these people get aid as soon as possible.
There are scams out there. I strongly, strongly encourage you to donate to a Legitimate cause. Even if you’re totally indifferent or don’t have time or much money, there are ways now to literally send a text message and pay for it on your cell phone bill.
Text “Yele” to 501501 and you’ll get a confirmation. Respond with YES to the confirmation and your cell phone bill will be charged $5, and the money goes into the fund directly for aid for the Haiti Earthquake disaster.
This goes to Wyclef Jean’s organization and their disaster relief fund. A little bit from many will make a huge difference. $5 can go a long way!!!
Alternately, faith-based organizations have existing infrastructure in Haiti, including the Catholic Church and several Christian groups. Donate to the ones you trust. This money will be put to good use.
Please, please send a text message to donate to Wyclef’s Yele group, who is already working in Haiti, or to the Red Cross fund. These next few days can make the difference between life and death for many.
…and when something screws up, I’ll be happy to write about the inevitable protests to ensure.
If you just donated, thank you. If not, please consider doing so.