Archive for November, 2008
Inmates in Greece Protest Jail Overcrowding by Refusing to Eat
Inmates in Greece are refusing to eat in droves, due to overcrowded prison conditions. Greece’s 12,192 inmates are crowded into jail spaces meant for 8,243.
Greece, you can’t handle a measly 12,192 inmates? You need to take a lesson from the champs of incarceration.
You see, in America, and apparently in the UK, we believe in things called rights and freedoms. And those rights are that every inmate has a right to Cable TV, libraries, 3 meals a day, a gym, basketball court, a job, a movie theater, the Bible, toilet wine, …….but only ONE prison bitch.
Let’s approach this protest as a business venture. You know, by using solid metrics.
12,192 inmates – 8243 inmate capacity = 3,949 overflow
Overflow is est. 32% over the current capacity.
Since we’re talking about size and capacity, we need a better way to measure the success of a food protest to help increase capacity. So, you shouldn’t be counting the PEOPLE incarcerated, you need to be counting the WEIGHT. In America we do this in pounds. Because the whole world is still in the dark ages (except America, of course), you will have to use the evil Kilometer.
So, as far as I can see your protest can go one of two ways:
1) Starve yourselves until the weight limit drops 32% as a whole. Science tells us that the less people weigh, the less space you will all take up. Find the average size of each inmate and calculate the average number of pounds that each inmate should lose to accommodate. For help, I will refer you to this guy.
2) This requires a real fight for the long haul – eat as much as possible. Estimate weight increase to force the desired outcome (increased number of prisons.) You need to cut out the Gyro and Lamb diet to make this happen. I would suggest a diet of McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, and Ben N Jerry’s over the next several months and STOP MOVING AROUND SO MUCH. Eventually, Greece will be forced to support the increased weight capcaity. You can also argue that you’re too fat for execution.
HEY GREECE: Have you thought maybe there is a reason that your prisoners are not hungry enough for your meals? It’s because they’re full from eating holes through the walls.
