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Archive for June, 2009

Smells like Summer

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Obama’s first year in office is turning out to be a doozie.  All sorts of action on the Domestic and International front are keeping things exciting!   I don’t feel like spending a lot of time talking about one thing today, so I think I’ll summarize some of the more interesting things I’ve found as of late.

Kim Jung Il
I don’t think anyone including his own country actually like this guy.  With stuff like this in the news I think most of us are just waiting for him to die already.   What I think is most bothersome is that the citizens of North Korea are so indoctrinated to this guy’s cockfight with the rest of the world to aspire to own weapons that they’ve been brainwashed into accepting their piss-poor condition.  Unfortunate, and this picture made me vomit a little in my mouth and laugh at the same time:

If you want a laughable read, just read his biography with quotes such as:

Sharing joy and sorrow with the people at all times and through genuine popular politics, the benevolent politics, he has made the whole country  a large revolutionary family in which all people are united around the Party and the leader.  He has also shown deep concern to providing the Korean people with worthwhile and happy lives.”

And this:

The cause of the Korean revolution advancing vigorously …. will achieve ultimate victory without fail in any storms and adversity and Korea will shine brilliantly as the motherland…where its 70 million fellowmen enjoy genuine freedom and prosperity on the reunified land.”

Haha.  PETA is protesting seal clubbing by mock-clubbing seals for my enjoyment.  They took the joys of seal-culling and brought it into sunny warm downtown.  Check out this one from the article of a middle aged woman pick-axing a pile of stuffed animals in the street doused in fake blood while PETA cheers her on:

These guys recently succeeded in needlessly getting themselves arrested by blocking a port.   They’ll provide a useful service of wasting time and money in the judicial system, now, I’m sure.  Way to go guys.

Not really protest news, but he’s signing a law for “no discrimination” for Transgender empolyees. I think we should also sign a law that says nuns who wear biker clothing at night and molest adults dressed as cartoon characters and work for the government get special rights as well.  Oh yeah, and those little people, what are they called, midgets?  We should give them priviledges and stilts, only referring to them as “V.C.’s” (Vertically Challenged)  I’m sure these transgender rights will keep me from discussing my coworker’s balls, those ones who talk like Rambo wearing stockings and skirts.  This is an unfortunate law for an upstanding outspoken indiviudal like myself.

That said, I think anti-transgender discriminiation is a good thing and we should extend this across the board as soon as possible, especially in the military.  There is a severe lack of style in the U.S. military, and we should be recruiting all of those fine young men that wish they were a 20 year old girl into all parts of our armed forces.  Espcially the front lines: you want to get into some Muslim Extremist’s heads?  Stop blowing them up with Robots and bombs.  Send a whole platoon of transgendered Americans after him, wearing full on bondage gear, stockings, lipstick, and crotchless panties.  Then you add in a funky house beat and some high heels, build a catwalk from Baghdad to Iran and you walk these guys [sorry, girls] back and forth for a few weeks and see what happens.  Call it a social experiment.

It’s summer, be sure to soak in some nice warm radiation this season!

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June 24th, 2009 at 11:56 am

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EA Stages an Awesome Religious Video Game Protest

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Electronic Arts staged a protest of their upcoming video game “Dante’s Inferno” at the E3 Expo in Los Angeles.

Inspired by the real Dante Alighieri, but adapted for a new generation and a new medium, the hero of the game is a soldier who defies death and fights for love against impossible odds. The Italian mercenary Dante returns home from the wars to find that his beloved Beatrice has been murdered, and her soul pulled down into Hell by a dark force. He gives chase, and vows to get her back. For weapons, he wields Death’s soul-reaping scythe, and commands holy powers of the cross, given to him by Beatrice.

Thank you EA, I know deep down that you hatched this idea just for me.  You combined three of my favorite things: clever marketing, video games, and protesting all into one package.  As a marketer, I gotta respect it.  Hats off to EA for the cool idea.  I’m sure the religious right hates you, but Jesus will still love you.

There must be a million things you can draw attention to by hiring 20 or so people for a few bucks to stand around and pretend to care about something.  I mean, most people in a protest crowd don’t do much anyhow but hold protest signs to draw attention.  But that’s the point, I think.

Here are protest signs from EA’s Protest for Dante’s Inferno:

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June 15th, 2009 at 1:42 pm

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The most hilarious protest sign I have ever seen

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Haha.  I laughed so hard I spit my drink all over the monitor when I saw this one.  Then I wiped my stuff off with a paper towel and laughed some more.

The Website in the picture is NSFW… you have been warned.

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June 15th, 2009 at 1:06 pm

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Grab Your Economy By The Balls

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So, my few but loyal readers have all stopped checking this blog by now, I’m sure, after the 2 months that have gone by without a single new post.  “Earth Day” or something.  Scroll down.

Man, I love it when people are scared to spend money, because it effects The Economy.  When economic uncertainty abounds, people get scared, it’s interesting all the creative things The Economy inspires.  Here are a few scenarios:

“Why aren’t we going to Disneyland this year, daddy?” “The Economy told me Mickey Mouse called for you.  Yeah, he said GO TO HELL, junior.”

“Are we only going to eat Ramen noodles, fish sauce, and meatless Hamburger Helper?  We want to eat tasty bacon-wrapped fillets?” “The Economy ate your ‘effing fillet.  Now eat this banana peel for dessert and shut up.”

“Why can’t I go to college?”  “Because The Economy said there was a two-for-one sale at Kia, and if you traded one of your children in for slave labor in North Korea, you get double value on your trade in.  Now get into the crate, sweetie.”

“Why are you home at every day, staring at your bulging biceps and shaving once a week?” , “The Economy whispered to my boss during a private jerk-off session on a warm summer evening that I should be freed from serfdom the next day.”

It’s like a full moon or something.  I say to hell with that.  Grab The Economy by the balls.

Anyway, my regular news feeds are stocking 1000+ articles about Protests, so in the interest of saving time, I’m skipping to recent and for now I’m just going to throw in a few fun tidbits for you to nibble on:

Ah, GreenPeace are always up for a good protest, and it appears as though  “tourism” is going to be a victim of Climate Change. Hanging banners and all.  One of the worst things that could happen when the planet warms up is that people will not have the desire to go see ANYTHING anymore.

According to this article, the Russians are shouting for work.  To our Russian friends:  In America, people don’t beg for work.  Nobody’s trying to work hard over here.  What people in the United States want is cold hard cash!  That’s capitalism, baby.

The EU appears to be much more Right now.   So, we’ll see how things turn out, but my real theory is that big gust of retardation left the United States when Bush left office and blew right over to European soil.

Speaking of our favorite Ex-prez, I have a mental visual of George W. Bush sitting in a recliner facing the window with a bratwurst and a six pack, watching his haters and his supporters duke it out in his front lawn.

Until next time…

Written by admin

June 9th, 2009 at 2:21 am

Posted in Uncategorized