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Monopoly – State of the Union 2009 Edition

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Hey kids!  Experience the thrill of big deficit-spending Liberalism with Monopoly: State of the Union 2009 Edition!

Play as Barack Obama, flush with $1.5 trillion in cash to spend.  What will you pay for next?  Now who needs a bailout?  Will you force the currency into hyperinflation?  Roll the dice to find out!

Object of the game
The object of the game is to be the last one to spend into Bankruptcy.  Bankruptcy is achieved when you have spent 10x your starting budget, $15 trillion Obama Dollars.  (Owed to China, obviously)

Equipment
– As much cash as you feel like printing
– All Congressional Cards and Corporate Lobbying Cards
– For tokens and dice, dig into your original Monopoly game.   However, using pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters as tokens is suggested – it’s the best shot we have at seeing real Change in 2009.
– Houses and Hotels are irrelevant; they’re all mortgaged anyway.  However, feel free to strew your original Monopoly buildings about on the game board as you play.

Preparation
All Corporate Lobbying and Congressional Cards are placed in the designated positions in the center of the board.

Each player places their token on the April 14th position on the board.

To start the game, each player receives $1.5 trillion in cash as follows:
2 $500B 2 $100B 2 $50B 6 $20B 5 $10B 5 $5B and 5 $1B


The Federal Reserve (aka “The Banker”)

The Federal Reserve player will play along with everyone else, starting with $1.5 trillion but will also get to do what all bankers happily do: hand out cash upon request to anyone at any time.

If more money is needed, the Fed continues to dish out cash to players as needed in Trillion Dollar increments. (including themselves).

If cash reserves run low, the Fed may call “Credit Crisis Round” and print as much money as needed for themselves and all other players, adding an equal amount of cash to the “Free Money” place on the board.

If The Fed grows tired or becomes too lazy to print more money, equally acceptable to the above is to calculate the actual amount of cash digitally for each player using Calculators and keeping a Balance Sheet, however, it’s much more fun to toss billions of Obama Dollars around the playing board.

The Fed will pay out to players for any tax collection by landing on April 14th, Windfall Profits, or Carbon Emissions tax.

The Fed collects any expenses paid out through Corporate Lobbying or Congressional Cards and places it on the “Free Money” position on the board.

How to Play
Each player places their token on the “April 14th” spot on the board.  Players take turns rolling the dice.  The player with the highest roll goes first.

Going clockwise, each player rolls the dice and advances forward to the position on the board according to their roll.  The player will pay the expense or follow the instructions of that position and leave their token in that position for their next turn.

If you roll doubles, you go again.  If you roll doubles three times, you are assumed to be a terrorist and go directly to Guantanamo Bay without passing April 14th. All other players should mock you.

Paying Expenses
Any time a player lands on an expense, the player pays the amount of that expense to the The Federal Reserve (aka “The Banker”).

If a player must pay expenses from a chosen Congressional Card, Corporate Lobbying Card, this money is placed on the Free Money position on the board.


Collecting Money

Profitable tax positions are rare, as this is a spending-based board game…

When a player lands on April 14th, Windfall Profits Tax, or Carbon Emissions Tax, they will collect the appropriate amount.

When a player lands on Free Money, they will collect all money on that position. Yay, cash!

Guantanamo Bay
If a player lands in Guantanamo Bay, they are not allowed to talk until they are released.

To leave Guantanamo Bay, a player must either roll doubles or collect $50 billion Obama Dollars in reparations.  If the player rolls doubles, they advance according to their roll.  If the player collects the $50 billion, they will also roll.

Written by admin

January 14th, 2009 at 12:11 am

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