Junk Activism

PETA has brought forth yet another nonsensical, boring protest.  This time for fish.

Pike Place is a popular fish market in Seattle and also the subject of the book “Go Fish!” which outlines some of the basic principles of the company (a nice, quick read by the way). Pike Place fish market is known for its success and highly energetic ambiance, which includes shouts and throwing fish around the room.

Well, that doesn’t sit well with PETA, tossing around of fish and probably going to be eaten by a hungry meat eater who enjoys the taste of the Sea’s finest culinary delights.  Sort of a “putting yourself in fish shoes” kind of thinking, I suppose.  By the way, speaking of kittens and throwing, ever toss a cat?  I mean high, like at least 20 ft in the air?  They will always land on their feet.  Awesome.

Even better is that this event they’re protesting is filled with the most educated people who actually care about animals – they’re protesting the American Veterinary Medical Association by rolling around on the asphalt topless dressed as fish and holding signs “AVMA Supports Pain”.

Photo and Article.  Does anyone really take this crap seriously?

Amist all of the controversy and publicity of Michael Jackson’s death, the publicity whores at Westboro Baptist Church are licking their chops to stir up trouble and spend their congregation’s money spreading world gloom and doom at the King of Pop’s memorial.  Gee, what could rednecks from Kansas possible have against Michael Jackson?  According to their protest page, he’s an unthankful (sic) brute beast that was struck down by God according to some irrelevant Bible scripture about a Babylonian King…or something.  Aw hell, does it really matter?

It’s a good opportunity to antagonize the grieving!

As far as I understand it, Westboro Baptist has a healthy  obsession with death, and every last one of us that dies has been smite by a vengeful, seemingly immature and evil God.  So my assumption is the driving force is this sound logic:  Since God is vengeful and kills everyone, it’s necessary to spend your life shitting on everyone who is possibly emotionally vulnerable.

I don’t think Fred Phelps will go to Hell.  I think there’s a place in Heaven for him, and if God has a sense of humor, and I believe that he does, Phelps’ll be forced to write and carry protest signs inscripted “God Loves Fags” through the streets wearing ass-less chaps and a purple leather vest.

For your “LOL”, here’s their Michael Jackson protest posted on their schedule page:

Staples Center - Michael Wacko Jacko Jackson is in hell! 1111 S. Figueroa St WBC will be there to remind you to stop worshiping the dead. We will be there to tell you to Thank God for the death of this filthy, adulterous, idolatrous, gender-confused, nationality-confused, unthankful brute beast. We will be there to remind you that God Killed Wacko Jacko. There is a God, and a Day of Judgment. For you to wallow and murmur against God for his righteous Judgments is sin and will cause YOU to join Michael in hell. Stop that! Be thankful that God has not already killed you because like that Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar realized after 7 years of being cursed as a crazy wild man because he did not give God the glory warns – God will deal with you WHERE YOU LIVE if you do not put away your sins. Check this out: Daniel 4:34 And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation: 35 And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou? Praise God, and give glory until The Most Highest for ALL his works in heaven and in earth! AMEN!

Please….smite me now.

Obama’s first year in office is turning out to be a doozie.  All sorts of action on the Domestic and International front are keeping things exciting!   I don’t feel like spending a lot of time talking about one thing today, so I think I’ll summarize some of the more interesting things I’ve found as of late.

Kim Jung Il
I don’t think anyone including his own country actually like this guy.  With stuff like this in the news I think most of us are just waiting for him to die already.   What I think is most bothersome is that the citizens of North Korea are so indoctrinated to this guy’s cockfight with the rest of the world to aspire to own weapons that they’ve been brainwashed into accepting their piss-poor condition.  Unfortunate, and this picture made me vomit a little in my mouth and laugh at the same time:

If you want a laughable read, just read his biography with quotes such as:

Sharing joy and sorrow with the people at all times and through genuine popular politics, the benevolent politics, he has made the whole country  a large revolutionary family in which all people are united around the Party and the leader.  He has also shown deep concern to providing the Korean people with worthwhile and happy lives.”

And this:

The cause of the Korean revolution advancing vigorously …. will achieve ultimate victory without fail in any storms and adversity and Korea will shine brilliantly as the motherland…where its 70 million fellowmen enjoy genuine freedom and prosperity on the reunified land.”

PETA
Haha.  PETA is protesting seal clubbing by mock-clubbing seals for my enjoyment.  They took the joys of seal-culling and brought it into sunny warm downtown.  Check out this one from the article of a middle aged woman pick-axing a pile of stuffed animals in the street doused in fake blood while PETA cheers her on:

Greenpeace
These guys recently succeeded in needlessly getting themselves arrested by blocking a port.   They’ll provide a useful service of wasting time and money in the judicial system, now, I’m sure.  Way to go guys.

Obama
Not really protest news, but he’s signing a law for “no discrimination” for Transgender empolyees. I think we should also sign a law that says nuns who wear biker clothing at night and molest adults dressed as cartoon characters and work for the government get special rights as well.  Oh yeah, and those little people, what are they called, midgets?  We should give them priviledges and stilts, only referring to them as “V.C.’s” (Vertically Challenged)  I’m sure these transgender rights will keep me from discussing my coworker’s balls, those ones who talk like Rambo wearing stockings and skirts.  This is an unfortunate law for an upstanding outspoken indiviudal like myself.

That said, I think anti-transgender discriminiation is a good thing and we should extend this across the board as soon as possible, especially in the military.  There is a severe lack of style in the U.S. military, and we should be recruiting all of those fine young men that wish they were a 20 year old girl into all parts of our armed forces.  Espcially the front lines: you want to get into some Muslim Extremist’s heads?  Stop blowing them up with Robots and bombs.  Send a whole platoon of transgendered Americans after him, wearing full on bondage gear, stockings, lipstick, and crotchless panties.  Then you add in a funky house beat and some high heels, build a catwalk from Baghdad to Iran and you walk these guys [sorry, girls] back and forth for a few weeks and see what happens.  Call it a social experiment.

It’s summer, be sure to soak in some nice warm radiation this season!

Electronic Arts staged a protest of their upcoming video game “Dante’s Inferno” at the E3 Expo in Los Angeles.

Inspired by the real Dante Alighieri, but adapted for a new generation and a new medium, the hero of the game is a soldier who defies death and fights for love against impossible odds. The Italian mercenary Dante returns home from the wars to find that his beloved Beatrice has been murdered, and her soul pulled down into Hell by a dark force. He gives chase, and vows to get her back. For weapons, he wields Death’s soul-reaping scythe, and commands holy powers of the cross, given to him by Beatrice.

Thank you EA, I know deep down that you hatched this idea just for me.  You combined three of my favorite things: clever marketing, video games, and protesting all into one package.  As a marketer, I gotta respect it.  Hats off to EA for the cool idea.  I’m sure the religious right hates you, but Jesus will still love you.

There must be a million things you can draw attention to by hiring 20 or so people for a few bucks to stand around and pretend to care about something.  I mean, most people in a protest crowd don’t do much anyhow but hold protest signs to draw attention.  But that’s the point, I think.

Here are protest signs from EA’s Protest for Dante’s Inferno:

Haha.  I laughed so hard I spit my drink all over the monitor when I saw this one.  Then I wiped my stuff off with a paper towel and laughed some more.

The Website in the picture is NSFW… you have been warned.