Junk Activism

PETA is such an easy target. When I’m not feeling creative, I just have to see what “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” is up to. I took a look at the PETA website, and honestly, I think PETA has officially gone off their rocker with the latest batch of activism “marketing”. Here are the latest development in the “Animal Rights” movement.

Fish are now called “Sea Kittens” – That’s right. According to PETA, fish have a problem – they are ugly, slimy, scaly creatures with no intrinsic value. Since the value for the rest of us is nutrition, animal food & pets, PETA will “rebrand” fish into something cuddly and cute, like kittens, so the emotionally-charged masses are inspired to point their pent-up emotional erections at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife department.

Stop Canadian Seal Clubbing – Canada has a “hobby” of culling seals during their annual hunt & making cool things out of the pelts.  Well, since baby seals are so damn cute in photos with their soft white fur and innocent-looking black eyes, PETA doesn’t like the idea of humans insta-killing them with a stick to the head.  They are better left in packs, eating sea kittens, and being chewed on by hungry polar bears, like this healthy specimen.

Ingrid Newkirk signs her dead body to PETA – What a noble cause! She wants parts of her body sent to the U.K, Canada, France, Germany, and India.   Among the other “directives” of her corpse are to cook it, leathermaking, and the wall-mounting of her body parts.  When you look at her will, you’re greeted with a pop-up featuring those baby seals.  Perhaps if we feed her body to those polar bears, the seals can live another day.  NOTE: An Ingrid Newkirk-skin coat should only be produced by a real exotic leather professional and would look great when trimmed with high-end Python or Crocodile.