Junk Activism

This isn’t a post that is about pro-gayness vs. gay-bashing, the consumer vs. big bad evil news networks, Focus on the Family vs. the Pro-Choice Mongers, or Colts vs. the Saints.  This isn’t about black vs. white, Team A vs. Team B.

This is a post about advertising and perception.

Most people following either football or gay rights issues have already heard of this growing controversy about Mancrunch.com looking for airspace on the Superbowl, only to be rejected by CBS for any number of convoluted reasons, including its “gayness” factor and the credit score of Mancrunch.com.

If you haven’t seen the ad, here you go:

Let’s discuss this marketing for a second.

First of all, ManCrunch.com?  If it has anything to do with sex, I can’t think of one thing in related to sex or romance I would want to associate with using the word “crunch”.  If something is crunching, you’re likely doing something absurd or illegal in 22 states.  Here’s my thoughts of what happened:

“We need a name.  Something catchy.  And it needs the word “Man” in it.”

“How about ManCrush?  Men having crushes on men.  It’s cute, it’s simple, and implies romantic fun some gay men are seeking.”

“Hmm… ManCrush.com.  But what if they think it’s about Crushing men?  You know, like UFC or Boxing or something?”

“Good point. <pause>  Ah hah!  Men like eating potato chips.  And potato chips go “crunch.”

“Oooooo, ManCrunch.com.  I can see the Superbowl commercial already…. register that hot domain name at GoDaddy.com while its HOT!” *See GoDaddy’s effiminately-charged TV ad that was also rejected

So now that we’ve derailed the whole basis of this brand name, let’s delve further into this ad and why it’s total tripe:

First of all this ad sucks because, well, it’s just plain cheap.  They must’ve spent all of their money on a single run of Airtime during the Superbowl because the ad looks cheap.  It’s a backdrop that looks like it’s been attacked by roadsigns (including a “No Entry” sign), a couch and a bag of potato chips.

Secondly, it’s stupid. Only the most brain-numbed nincompoops would even possibly by amused by this boring and mediocre ad, which unfortunately make up about 80% of Superbowl advertising anymore.  There’s nothing intellectually clever or stimulating about it, it’s just two guys watching football who randomly decide to make out to an equally non-clever lyrics “I wanna kiss this guy, I really really really wanna kiss this guy”.  So to all of the lofty types, the better-than-thou-because-I’m-not-homophobic crowd, this ad sucks.  For a social group stereotyped to be classy, fashionable, and artistic, even the least classy, fashionable, and artistic homosexual can’t even pretend this kind of dumbness does anything to aid the gay community.

Third, and most importantly, let’s evaluate what this ad implies to its audience of 100 million about homosexuality.  First we see two men, presumably acting “straight” (because “straight” guys are eating potato chips and watching football in rooms full of road signs).  After insulting his buddy, their hands touch reaching for potato chips and the lustful frenzy begins as blondie leaps on top of baldy and starts stage-kissing him.  Cue music, cue logo, then we see a curious, confused, and bewildered guy staring from an armchair.

What makes this message different from any other public reaction of homosexuality?  Wake up:  This isn’t a message of social justice, social rebellion, or even being contrary.  They’re trying to sell a product,  in this instance a Website membership, drooling to ride a wave of dollars using the same tired perceptions and social controversy of homosexuality used over and over to get attention.  In fact, the point of this ad seems to perpetuate the belief that all gays are first and foremost lustful attention-seekers and secondly, well maybe secondly, looking for meaningful relationships.

So you’ve got a mediocre ad that’s stupid and misrepresents the people it claims to represent, going so far as appealing with gay advocacy groups.

In a world of advertising boner pills, financial ads with close-ups of smiling humans, cheap watery beer, and processed corn chips, do what you will with this one.  Just do it with common sense, forward-thinking, and principle.

Effectively snipping the cojones from “Brokeback Mountain” - a tale of two gay cowboys - Italian broadcasters censored and cut out all of the gay scenes from the movie, making it into an innocent story of two chummy cowboy buddies.

“Gay” controversy aside, I must say this movie sucked bad.  The scenery was great, the song “Wings” is incredible, but it must have been one of the most boring pieces of cinema I’ve ever had the displeasure of yawning through.

Italy, instead of cutting out the only controversy that made this movie interesting to begin with, can you add some action to it, please?  Or some comedy.  Maybe Adam Sandler shows up and sings us a song about sheep.   How about some ass kicking and gunslinging action scenes with John Wayne?  Maybe the Terminator shows up Or… that awesome white-house-exploding scene from Independence Day would’ve been perfect.

Then again, maybe all of Italian TV should be boring.

Is it a prerequisite to be gay to come up with hilarious protests?  Is there competition within the gay community to come up with this stuff?  This one should take the cake for this week.

San Francisco gay marriage supporters are encouraging same-sex marriage supporters to “call in gay to work” tomorrow, Wednesday December 10th. From the article:

Sean Hetherington, a West Hollywood comedian and personal trainer, dreamed up the idea with his boyfriend, Aaron Hartzler, after reading online that a few angry gay-rights activists were calling for a daylong strike to protest California voters’ passage last month of Proposition 8, which reversed this year’s state Supreme Court decision allowing gay marriage.

The couple thought it would be more effective and less divisive if people were asked to perform community service instead of staying home with their wallets shut. Dozens of nonprofit agencies, from the National Women’s Law Center in Washington to a Methodist church in Fresno collecting food for the homeless, have posted opportunities for volunteers on the couple’s Web site.

Although I’m not gay and am scratching my head at how this is anything other than cheeky and fun attention-getting, it’s noble that they’re proposing to do community service instead of holding hate signs.

I can’t wait to try out a “gay” excuse sometime.  Something so utterly disturbing they won’t want you in the office.  I propose this excuse:  “Sorry, I can’t make it to work.  I’m gay today.  It’s this condition where I’m profoundly attracted to members of the same sex.  Because of that, Satan is burning holes in my brain, I’ve oiled up my body, and my muscles are twitching.  I also find it hot to compulsively touch myself while staring at my ass in a mirror.  Typically, this is a “24 hour bug” and will probably be gone tomorrow.  I understand that this behavior is disturbing for most and it is probably best if I stay home today.”

Also from the article is our Junk Activism Organization of the Day: Colorado Queer Straight Alliance

Awesome.

Something huge in the gay community has happened in the past couple weeks and it’s not in anyone’s trousers.

It was Proposition 8, which I wrote an opinion on this week.  To write this blog I pan over news feeds on protests around the world on a daily basis.  This has gotten more attention on the Internet than anything yet in the past two months except Thailand’s political troubles.

Gay protesting and plans for protests are sprouting up everywhere from L.A. to New York City to Austin to Lansing Michigan (who is now famous for their ‘Gay Fascists‘) to Salt Lake City and back to San Fran and Sacramento.  No matter where you go, it seems there is a gay ole time to be had.

Here are some links I found with some more clever, funny gay protest signs for your imagination to chew on:

Proposition 8 Protest Signs - Several here that are good and I haven’t seen before.

Top 10 Prop 8 Protest Signs - I question why there is a top 10 already, it looks like the protests are just getting started. But regardless, there are still some funny ones.

Cre8ive Prop 8 - “Focus on your OWN Family” made me laugh.

I’m sure there is more to come….

Found here

Even Marilyn Manson showed up.

“I’m glad my (heart) grandmas are married”