Junk Activism

Earth Day is a wonderful day of reflection and celebration.  It’s a festive Atheistic Environmental answer to Easter, minus the fun Pagan traditions.  We should all reflect to appreciate the planet Earth and it’s plentiful resources.  I’ve been pondering all sorts of fun things we can do to appreciate all that the Mother Nature giveth.

Follow these simple instructions for a long, fulfilling Earth day:

1) Upon waking up, spend adequate time to freshen up for Earth Day festivities.  Brush your teeth extra long, take a nice long, warm shower.  Get good and clean - take the time to reflect and relax about how you’re saving the Earth as you enjoy the peaceful and relaxing warm water.

2) Now that you’re fresh for Earth Day, appreciate the 3rd world by strapping on some Nike’s fresh from the world-class factories of Southeast Asia.  Wear synthetic clothing developed from petrol-chemicals since PETA said hurting animals is a big no-no. Especially on Earth Day.  Trust me, you will feel far less guilty.

3) Only urinate & defecate outdoors.  On plants and trees.  We must fertilize them!

4) Treat yourself to fine Earth Day-ness like fresh life-giving H20.  You should only drink bottled water anyway, but especially on Earth Day.  Buy a 24 pack.  Heck, buy 48 - it’s never too cheap to be green.  Drink as much as you possibly can.  Only the best the planet can produce - only the best that Man can bottle for $1 - $2 a pop.  The more money you spend on your water, the more important it is.

5)  Rid the Earth of the filth you’ve created all year long.  Locate all of the Styrofoam in your household… coolers, Dixie cups, and float trip beer coasters.   Find the other random plastic junk you’ve collected - junk toys from 25 cent machines, Carnival Prizes, pointless Pet accessories, and all those water bottles from earlier.  Build a bonfire and burn them all!

6) A true Earth day celebrator only eats Organic foods from Whole Foods.  Not eating luxury produce from Whole Foods on Earth Day is sort of like not having cake on your birthday, or presents on Christmas.  Be a good Earthling and slap food science right in it’s fat, ugly, selectively-bred lips with a $2 dollar Organic apple and a $10 dollar steak from a pampered cow.

7)  Pay your Global Warming indulgences to Al Gore via Carbon Credits.  He cares about the planet more than anyone else can afford to.  Thanks to carbon dioxide, the fact that you even exist  makes it worse for everyone else on Earth.  So before you go to bed tonight, either consider suicide or buy Carbon Credits.   They also give failing banks a new bullshit asset to trade. So…buy them now.  Or the guilt will plague you forever.

Globalization should be encouraged.  Be sure to buy Chinese products this Earth Day so we can further integrate the world.  Toys, cosmetics, household items, and CFL Light Bulbs should all be purchased from global leading retailers like Wal-Mart.

9) Ah, a nice long Earth Day.  It’s been enjoyable.  Your trash can may be filled from the day’s business, but don’t you dare empty it yet - it’s better to wait until the day AFTER Earth Day to empty your trash.  Your trash-conscious neighbors will think better of you.

Happy Earth Day!

Haha.  Ironic that the biggest Global Warming protest in Washington D.C. right now goes on after a nice fat March snowstorm.

All of those climatologists doing millions of dollars of climate research couldn’t even predict an abnormally warm day to go holler at politicians about how warm the planet is getting?  At least make it sound good…

Next time you should pick a day in the summer.  Like, near the equator.  And you can all rub each other down with greasy suntan lotion.  Just don’t get cancer from all of that radiation, I mean, unless you’re really out to prove a point…up to you.  I’d enjoy writing about that protest.

From the article:

In a video on Capitol Climate Action’s web site, NASA scientist James Hansen encourages people to join the protest.

“The only practical way to solve the problem is to phase out the biggest source of carbon and that is coal. The science is very clear on that but yet the decision makers are not taking the actions that we needed to do that,” he says. “We have to send that message to Congress and the president.”

DUDE, you’re with NASA.  And you’re a scientist.   Since I was a kid, I’ve loved NASA and I love scientists (honest, intelligent ones, anyway).  The biggest source of carbon is coal?  Um, no.  did you forge that every living thing on this planet is made of carbon?  The biggest sources of carbon emissions would be dying animals and vegetation, exploding volcanoes, and the ocean.

Who is paying you to promote such Junk Activism?!

Look, like I’ve said before, nobody likes pollution.  Pollution comes at a cost for our lifestyle we all enjoy.  If you want to make the world a better place for people, of course we should stop burning coal and other pollutants for our power source.  We definitely pollute and over-consume, we can all agree to these things.

What we shouldn’t do is religiously link our consumption to the noble idea of saving ourselves from the coming Apocalypse.

A few days ago I found the “Plane Stupid” site, which was the source of the recent London protest in which about 50 or so people broke into an airport, blocking a runway (which according to a Times Online article was closed for maintenance work) and disrupting air travel.

I took a minute to click through their Website, which attempts to express its agenda through a convoluted plethora of information with messages ranging from anti-airport, anti-elitism, and anti-climate change.  It demonizes air travel and airport expansion as a leading cause of CO2 emissions, the mainstream belief for the cause of global warming. (Thank you Al Gore!).  Oh, and destroying communities.

From their site article called “Why we Shut Stansted Airport“:

Monday’s action has shown the power of young people determined to turn the climate talk into climate action. We took the decision to disrupt the airport to directly reduce the CO2 impact of Stansted, as a response to the government’s consent to its expansion. We did so with heavy hearts, knowing it would disrupt passengers, because we knew the consequences of this action couldn’t be worse than the consequences of inaction. If irreversible climate change kicks in, millions of lives will be destroyed.

Time to Be Serious

My regular readers know that I’m not very serious, but I’m going to try for once this time (in my typical smart ass tone.)

I know civil disobedience is FUN.  And I’m a big fan of your work.  It gives me interesting things to write about and prod at.  But you don’t address a problem by attacking its symptoms.  If you’re truly serious about this, let’s set the record straight by outlining clearly what your real beef is (drum roll, please…):

POLLUTION AND MISMANAGEMENT OF RESOURCES

Climate change is a motivator.  The concern is pollution and resource management.  Yes, it is that simple, and even a 3 year old knows that pollution = BAD.  All without touting a holier-than-though guilt-trip about causing the coming Apocalypse.  All without worrying about the fact that there is no proof we can do anything about rising temperatures.  To an outside observer, your message makes you look as ridiculous as any other “The End is Coming” ‘tards.  So stop yelling pending doom because….

As a reminder, here’s a list of things that do not change the weather:

Airports
Airplanes
Airport Security
Airport Runways
Airport Expansion
Air Travellers
Government
Police
The Average Joe

What you want to stop is man-made pollution and inefficiency.

How to Fight Pollution and Airport Expansion with Logic and Reason
Instead of pulling immature stunts like breaking into airport runways, here are some good ideas for you to start with.  Appeal to the reasonable nature of the civilized world - like more wealth, better health, safety, and innovation.  Instead of inventing importance, just be important.

Promote and Invest in More Efficient Technology - High speed magnet trains, new rail infrastructure to support them, or even a hybrid airplane.  Get a skilled engineering job instead of creating worthless protest art and painting banners to preach doom and gloom.  Pump some funds into new tech so people won’t WANT to fly anymore.  Make money in the process, and if you’re really serious, use it to fund your organization.

Run Grassroots Campaigns to the Public - If you truly believe it, then prove it.  Demonstrate to people how to be more responsible.  After all, airports only expand because of increased air travel in which we’re all responsible for.  Explain to the public that they can get to where they’re going efficiently and more affordable by trains.  Give them options by handing out train schedules.  Start a new way to book tickets or a service that helps them plan their travels, save money, and pollute less.

Run a Campaign for the Airport, or Work for the Airport - Get involved with Zoning and Planning for your city or organization if this is important to you.  Find ways to make air travel more efficient so there is no need to expand it.  Help the airports manage flying schedules more effectively so they don’t need runways.  Maybe it’s possible?  Have you tried?  Or are you just causing a disturbance?

Run for Public Office - If this is important to you, then get in a position where you can do something about it.  I would question whether you’re intelligent enough to do so considering your approach to problems is irresponsible and juvenile, but you could at least give it a shot.

The overall point is this - if you’re broke, have no respect OR empowerment in the political/business structure, and possibly in prison, you’re useless.  What will you do?  Write letters?  Produce a sensationalized documentary about polar bears and penguins?  Keep your freedom, you’re more useful that way.

Fix your Damn Website

What the hell is the message?  Airport expansion and air travel is bad? Let’s examine the your “10 points”:

1. “Aviation is Mostly Unnecessary” - Not for everyone.  Aviation is still the fastest, most convenient means of travel.  Prove me wrong if you disagree, but you obviously are not business people.  People want to get there fast.
2. “Airports cause illegal levels of nitrous oxide pollution” - Pollution is the obvious problem here.  Why not build safer, more efficient airplanes as a start?
3. “Airport expansion will destroy important heritage sites” - Lobby for more intelligent design of airport infrastructure and runways.  Work for better management of airport resources.  Are these people in these heritage sites concerned, or are they ready to take a check and leave?  Ask them.  Also of note:  “Heritage Sites” usually have older infrastructure that is also not “green” and efficient.
4. “Aviation is the fastest growing cause of climate change” - The truth here is irrelevant - pollution is the cause, not aviation.  And everyone agrees that pollution is bad.
5. ‘Cheap’ flights are for the priviledged - WTF is this anti-Elitist message doing here?  Are you suggesting that flying is only for the rich?  You do realize that half the airfare paid goes into taxes, right?  You do also realize that cheaper airfare means more air travel too, right?  Maybe you just needed another point for an even “10″.  Your point here makes you look ridiculously naive to anyone with a high school education.
6. “Aviation’s contribution to the economy is massively overstated” - Tell that to Thailand, a country who just overthrew their entire government by blocking a major air travel hub in Bangkok.  Thailand’s budding economy is run on tourism and trade and they lost between $50 million - $85 million per day.  People get  there by flying.  “Massively overstated”, indeed.
7. “Airport Expansion is wiping established communities off the map” - Talk to these communities.  If they’re that established, they’ll join your cause.  In my city, everyone was drooling to take a fat check and head for the hills.  This also has nothing to do with climate.
8. “Aviation creates massive noise pollution” - Well, yeah, of course it does.  Everyone knows this.  So do railways and rockets and concerts and protests.  We like all of these things.
9. “Aviation diverts money from public services” -  Wasting law enforcement time dragging your ass around also diverts money from public services.  If you’re worried about tax breaks for air companies, that’s government policy.  Take steps to change tax policy by supporting allies in government.
10. “Aviation expansion will destroy ancient forests and woodland” - You mean the woodland right next to the airport, where all the noise, pollution, and established communities are?  Yes, it sounds like a great place for wildlife, camping and hiking.