Junk Activism

Germans love to get naked in protests.  At least that’s my opinion.  Especially the German PETA supporters.

Now there’s another excuse to don your birthday suit, and that’s to make a scene in airports, where scenes have been made by everyone from Hare Krishna’s to Taxi drivers to terrorists.

So these folks, in protest of installing virtual “strip search” machines as they’re called, are revealing their naked bodies to all of us, you know, in real life and uploading it to YouTube for all of us to see.  In protest of being seen naked.  It’s logical, don’t worry.  Watch the video and you’ll see:

Personally I’m excited about these body scanners, and you should be too.  Invasion of privacy?  Blah, blah, blah, just more rhetoric from civil liberties groups, the privacy-obsessive and the paranoid.  This is even better than TSA pat downs, which of course the TSA always wants to do to me since I give off an aura that says “touch me, I’m warm”.   They should hire more hot models to do this job, though.  Usually it’s some stiff, boring guy or an a woman in shoulder pads patting me down.

But seriously, come on.  The fact is these machines are good.  They’ll finally give me a real shot to show off my genitals to strangers in airports.

Nude models in France are upset.  I suppose I would be too if I were standing naked in the cold in front of a Government building.  But I must say, nothing gets me more excited than a nude protest.  If I had my way we’d all be naked, all the time.  Clothes are for wusses.

But what is the reason that has sparked the protest?  France, for some stupid reason, decided to ban tips for nude artists and models.  Nude models now have the backing of two Unions supporting their fight for more money.

She said an average wage of 10 euros ($13) an hour for posing sessions that often lasted around three hours was inadequate. She added that models, classified officially as “special diverse personnel,” wanted clearer professional recognition.

“It is a profession, it’s tiring. Because it’s physical, you need a lot of endurance and it’s also expressive,” she said.

I mean, really France.  Posing nude for $13 an hour is unacceptable wages for honest, hard work.  Especially for something as taxing as nude modeling.  Have you seen their resumes?  They’re filled with all of the hard work these models put into their jobs – countless hours of standing, sitting, and putting clothes on and off.

France, you have always sucked and now you suck even worse.  Let’s be logical and compare nude modeling to all of the super-easy, mindless and stress-free jobs that also pay up to $13 an hour.  I believe these speak for themselves about how hard and taxing that nude modeling is:

1) Wal-Mart Customer Service Counter
2) UPS Truck Loader
3) Landscaper
4) McDonald’s Manager
5) Cable TV Guy
6) Babysitter
7) Grocery Store Bagger
Diner Waitress

So France, you mean to tell me that your models aren’t working hard enough to earn more than $13 an hour?  We like naked people, they’re fun to look at.  Give these models their tips!

HATS OFF, PANTS OFF, and SHIRTS OFF to you, Saskatchewan.  Your nude pothole protest calendar embodies all of best things in my favorite protests:  Naked bodies, pissed off Canadians, a sense of humor, and something to take home (like a calendar of hilarious nudies)  I love it:

One inhabitant of Leader, Saskatchewan, is shown sitting in a canoe that is perched in a pothole. Another has his dignity preserved by a well-placed camera, while a third man covers up with a strategic hubcap.

Saskatchewan, I feel your pain and your protest has livened my day.

CANADA, GIVE THESE PEOPLE A MAIN ROAD THEY CAN BE PROUD OF!

If ANYONE out there can get me some photos from this calendar, I am chomping at the bit to post them!

Today in Belgium, 20 women displayed their estimated 40 boobies, covered themselves in fake blood and carried their PETA signs to make it known to the world that the trickling down of EU funds goes to support Spain’s desire to watch men stick pica spears into the back of pissed off bulls.

The article claims over $27.4 million of EU taxpayer was spent last year to farmers and even organizers for renovating arenas and hold bullfighting events, still a popular local and tourist attraction in Spain.

I must say, some of these PETA women are HOT.  The women also stuck pica spears in their backs, which I shamefully must presume is to take the attention off their chest and make it known that their protest is actually about killing bulls… I mean, spending EU taxpayer money… I mean, animal rights…er, I mean banning a 900-year cultural tradition… ah, what the hell.  There are boobs!