Junk Activism

PETA has brought forth yet another nonsensical, boring protest.  This time for fish.

Pike Place is a popular fish market in Seattle and also the subject of the book “Go Fish!” which outlines some of the basic principles of the company (a nice, quick read by the way). Pike Place fish market is known for its success and highly energetic ambiance, which includes shouts and throwing fish around the room.

Well, that doesn’t sit well with PETA, tossing around of fish and probably going to be eaten by a hungry meat eater who enjoys the taste of the Sea’s finest culinary delights.  Sort of a “putting yourself in fish shoes” kind of thinking, I suppose.  By the way, speaking of kittens and throwing, ever toss a cat?  I mean high, like at least 20 ft in the air?  They will always land on their feet.  Awesome.

Even better is that this event they’re protesting is filled with the most educated people who actually care about animals - they’re protesting the American Veterinary Medical Association by rolling around on the asphalt topless dressed as fish and holding signs “AVMA Supports Pain”.

Photo and Article.  Does anyone really take this crap seriously?

Obama’s first year in office is turning out to be a doozie.  All sorts of action on the Domestic and International front are keeping things exciting!   I don’t feel like spending a lot of time talking about one thing today, so I think I’ll summarize some of the more interesting things I’ve found as of late.

Kim Jung Il
I don’t think anyone including his own country actually like this guy.  With stuff like this in the news I think most of us are just waiting for him to die already.   What I think is most bothersome is that the citizens of North Korea are so indoctrinated to this guy’s cockfight with the rest of the world to aspire to own weapons that they’ve been brainwashed into accepting their piss-poor condition.  Unfortunate, and this picture made me vomit a little in my mouth and laugh at the same time:

If you want a laughable read, just read his biography with quotes such as:

Sharing joy and sorrow with the people at all times and through genuine popular politics, the benevolent politics, he has made the whole country  a large revolutionary family in which all people are united around the Party and the leader.  He has also shown deep concern to providing the Korean people with worthwhile and happy lives.”

And this:

The cause of the Korean revolution advancing vigorously …. will achieve ultimate victory without fail in any storms and adversity and Korea will shine brilliantly as the motherland…where its 70 million fellowmen enjoy genuine freedom and prosperity on the reunified land.”

PETA
Haha.  PETA is protesting seal clubbing by mock-clubbing seals for my enjoyment.  They took the joys of seal-culling and brought it into sunny warm downtown.  Check out this one from the article of a middle aged woman pick-axing a pile of stuffed animals in the street doused in fake blood while PETA cheers her on:

Greenpeace
These guys recently succeeded in needlessly getting themselves arrested by blocking a port.   They’ll provide a useful service of wasting time and money in the judicial system, now, I’m sure.  Way to go guys.

Obama
Not really protest news, but he’s signing a law for “no discrimination” for Transgender empolyees. I think we should also sign a law that says nuns who wear biker clothing at night and molest adults dressed as cartoon characters and work for the government get special rights as well.  Oh yeah, and those little people, what are they called, midgets?  We should give them priviledges and stilts, only referring to them as “V.C.’s” (Vertically Challenged)  I’m sure these transgender rights will keep me from discussing my coworker’s balls, those ones who talk like Rambo wearing stockings and skirts.  This is an unfortunate law for an upstanding outspoken indiviudal like myself.

That said, I think anti-transgender discriminiation is a good thing and we should extend this across the board as soon as possible, especially in the military.  There is a severe lack of style in the U.S. military, and we should be recruiting all of those fine young men that wish they were a 20 year old girl into all parts of our armed forces.  Espcially the front lines: you want to get into some Muslim Extremist’s heads?  Stop blowing them up with Robots and bombs.  Send a whole platoon of transgendered Americans after him, wearing full on bondage gear, stockings, lipstick, and crotchless panties.  Then you add in a funky house beat and some high heels, build a catwalk from Baghdad to Iran and you walk these guys [sorry, girls] back and forth for a few weeks and see what happens.  Call it a social experiment.

It’s summer, be sure to soak in some nice warm radiation this season!

PETA is such an easy target. When I’m not feeling creative, I just have to see what “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” is up to. I took a look at the PETA website, and honestly, I think PETA has officially gone off their rocker with the latest batch of activism “marketing”. Here are the latest development in the “Animal Rights” movement.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ok.  I’m feeling a little grumpy today so instead of being cheeky and fun like I normally like to be, I’m just going to issue a reaming on this one.

Seriously, why couldn’t PETA do something cool like a nude protest?  Why cross this line?  Does PETA have their heads so far up their asses they can’t see how ludicrous it is to compare a silly pretentious Dog Show to one of the most disgusting, racist cultural embarrassments of modern America?

The fact that PETA would have the audacity to stoop so low as to dress as these ignorant redneck retards to serve an “animal rights” agenda shows no shame.  It is also yet more proof to the whole world that PETA’s agenda has no foundation in facts, logic or reason but instead is driven by the emotional whims of the most weak-minded and naive people of modern society.  These same sincere but weak-minded and naive are the only ones that will ever take this message seriously.

Dressing up as the KKK is a big “Fuck You” to the African American community and  anyone who has fought so hard to end racism in America.  Racism is one of the biggest civil liberty/human rights issues America has EVER faced, and this undermines the problems we have overcome, using shock appeal to “market” an  irrelevant cause.

Such a simple-minded association - the only ones who would even agree to this are white people from wealthy homes who are so detached from Nature and Conservation they probably have never even been camping.  Pfft.

Anyway, since you’ve already found it a good idea associated yourselves with White Supremacy and American racism, I’ve thought of some other great offensive things you can try out:

1) Dress up as Hitler’s Youth Nazis and march through downtown Berlin adorning swastikas.  After all, Hitler did have a Eugenics plan.  Build a giant “gas chamber” and invite the public to go inside.  Maybe even stamp their wrists with their own number while you’re at it.  Isn’t Eugenics more appropriate for this AKC thing, anyway?  “Master Race” and all?

2) Get a cross and crucify an animal effigy in Jerusalem.  You can all dress up like Jews and Romans in Mel Gibson’s Passion, speak Aramaic, ridicule, spit, and prod at it.  Make sure there is plenty of blood to go around and compare your message to Christ as you walk the Way of the Cross.

3) Cover yourself in animal feces and roll around in the entryways of city zoos.  You know, because we cage the animals and all and they should be able to shit where they like.

4) Hire clowns dressed as vets to juggle jars of real, neutered dog balls and formaldahyde.  You could hand them out to passers-by.  This one would be great for any circus or city.  Get attention for those neuterings!

5) You’ll be sure to get a news plug for this one and it will also work in any city - Represent the strays!   Dress like homeless people, roll around in the dirt, and stop showering for 2 weeks.  Contract a contagious disease and cough on everyone that passes.  That’ll teach them!

One more thing…

If you think you’re giving money to help animals when you donate to PETA, think again.  You’re just supporting a weak “animal rights agenda” when what we should be doing is planning for future conservation.  Animals don’t give a shit about rights, anyway.  Only humans do.  Equally, only humans care about conservation.  Animals want their needs met:  food, water, safety, and something to breed with.  They don’t give a shit about what is going extinct or why.  The natural laws of “survival of the fittest” still apply and humans are THRIVING - therefore, to be responsible at the top of the food chain, life on our planet must be managed like any other evaluable commodity… if we are to sustain their population.  We can’t personify animals because it “feels good” to do so.

Wake up and smell the reality - it is wonderful and delicious. Get a good whiff and then go do something useful for nature.  But don’t feed PETA.

Animal rights activists are always protesting, usually by carrying pictures of badly mutilated animals or cute puppies & fancy slogans.  They’re usually funny.  As I’ve mentioned before, nobody knows how to market Junk Activism quite like PETA and I’m a huge fan.

Now they’re taking it straight to the homes of executives that work in Animal research and fur.

From the article:

ON a recent Saturday, a day so cold the streets lay deserted, the peal of a woman’s voice shook the frigid air opposite Central Park. “Hey, Basso, what do you say? How did you kill your fur today?” yelled Stephanie Williams, 29, recently laid off from a job as an account manager at an electronics company.

Laid off from work at an electronics company and now a supercharged Animal Rights activist.  It’s a biography worthy of Lifetime.  I suppose with that much time on your hands not looking for a job, animals start to look less like food and clothing and more like pets and people so we begin to feel more noble, giving them things they don’t care about or understand (like rights).

Maybe with the surge in unemployment other people will have the same ambitions.  Perhaps you can build an army, or at least cash in on the naive ones.

Around her, a troop of fellow protesters stood lined up outside the grand apartment house known as the Beresford, on Central Park West and 81st Street. They responded to her chant with a list of ways to kill an animal.

Wait….now I’m really confused.  Why are you brainstorming ways to kill an animal?  I mean, I can help out with that.   Here are a few of the favorites through the ages of the Animal Kingdom:

• Guns
• Bows and Arrows
• Clubbing
• Poison
• Biting
• Eat them whole (Digestion)
• Clawing to death
• Trampling
• Testing chemicals
• Growing Ears on their backs