Junk Activism

Hold onto your kippahs folks, this protest actually has NOTHING to do with the Temple Mount:  Over 2,000 Orthodox Jews in Jerusalem were pissed that Intel will be open on Saturdays (as it is accustomed to be) since that interferes with Saturday morning cartoons.   Ahem, I mean, Sabbath traditions.

Respect to these Jews, they know how to strike up a feverish protest.  Check it out:

The demonstrators attacked journalists covering the protest, as well as Jerusalem Deputy Mayor Yitzhak Pindrus, of the fervently Orthodox United Torah Judaism party, whom they accuse of selling out to the secular establishment.

The company’s security guards used pepper spray against some of the protesters, who broke through barbed wire fences installed to deter them.

This sounds a lot like Woodstock to me, minus the pepper spray and barbed wire.  I think the Jews were trying to get inside to get a peek at the facilities and perhaps Intel’s latest processors.

PETA has brought forth yet another nonsensical, boring protest.  This time for fish.

Pike Place is a popular fish market in Seattle and also the subject of the book “Go Fish!” which outlines some of the basic principles of the company (a nice, quick read by the way). Pike Place fish market is known for its success and highly energetic ambiance, which includes shouts and throwing fish around the room.

Well, that doesn’t sit well with PETA, tossing around of fish and probably going to be eaten by a hungry meat eater who enjoys the taste of the Sea’s finest culinary delights.  Sort of a “putting yourself in fish shoes” kind of thinking, I suppose.  By the way, speaking of kittens and throwing, ever toss a cat?  I mean high, like at least 20 ft in the air?  They will always land on their feet.  Awesome.

Even better is that this event they’re protesting is filled with the most educated people who actually care about animals - they’re protesting the American Veterinary Medical Association by rolling around on the asphalt topless dressed as fish and holding signs “AVMA Supports Pain”.

Photo and Article.  Does anyone really take this crap seriously?

Amist all of the controversy and publicity of Michael Jackson’s death, the publicity whores at Westboro Baptist Church are licking their chops to stir up trouble and spend their congregation’s money spreading world gloom and doom at the King of Pop’s memorial.  Gee, what could rednecks from Kansas possible have against Michael Jackson?  According to their protest page, he’s an unthankful (sic) brute beast that was struck down by God according to some irrelevant Bible scripture about a Babylonian King…or something.  Aw hell, does it really matter?

It’s a good opportunity to antagonize the grieving!

As far as I understand it, Westboro Baptist has a healthy  obsession with death, and every last one of us that dies has been smite by a vengeful, seemingly immature and evil God.  So my assumption is the driving force is this sound logic:  Since God is vengeful and kills everyone, it’s necessary to spend your life shitting on everyone who is possibly emotionally vulnerable.

I don’t think Fred Phelps will go to Hell.  I think there’s a place in Heaven for him, and if God has a sense of humor, and I believe that he does, Phelps’ll be forced to write and carry protest signs inscripted “God Loves Fags” through the streets wearing ass-less chaps and a purple leather vest.

For your “LOL”, here’s their Michael Jackson protest posted on their schedule page:

Staples Center - Michael Wacko Jacko Jackson is in hell! 1111 S. Figueroa St WBC will be there to remind you to stop worshiping the dead. We will be there to tell you to Thank God for the death of this filthy, adulterous, idolatrous, gender-confused, nationality-confused, unthankful brute beast. We will be there to remind you that God Killed Wacko Jacko. There is a God, and a Day of Judgment. For you to wallow and murmur against God for his righteous Judgments is sin and will cause YOU to join Michael in hell. Stop that! Be thankful that God has not already killed you because like that Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar realized after 7 years of being cursed as a crazy wild man because he did not give God the glory warns - God will deal with you WHERE YOU LIVE if you do not put away your sins. Check this out: Daniel 4:34 And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation: 35 And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou? Praise God, and give glory until The Most Highest for ALL his works in heaven and in earth! AMEN!

Please….smite me now.

So, my few but loyal readers have all stopped checking this blog by now, I’m sure, after the 2 months that have gone by without a single new post.  “Earth Day” or something.  Scroll down.

Man, I love it when people are scared to spend money, because it effects The Economy.  When economic uncertainty abounds, people get scared, it’s interesting all the creative things The Economy inspires.  Here are a few scenarios:

“Why aren’t we going to Disneyland this year, daddy?” “The Economy told me Mickey Mouse called for you.  Yeah, he said GO TO HELL, junior.”

“Are we only going to eat Ramen noodles, fish sauce, and meatless Hamburger Helper?  We want to eat tasty bacon-wrapped fillets?” “The Economy ate your ‘effing fillet.  Now eat this banana peel for dessert and shut up.”

“Why can’t I go to college?”  “Because The Economy said there was a two-for-one sale at Kia, and if you traded one of your children in for slave labor in North Korea, you get double value on your trade in.  Now get into the crate, sweetie.”

“Why are you home at every day, staring at your bulging biceps and shaving once a week?” , “The Economy whispered to my boss during a private jerk-off session on a warm summer evening that I should be freed from serfdom the next day.”

It’s like a full moon or something.  I say to hell with that.  Grab The Economy by the balls.

Anyway, my regular news feeds are stocking 1000+ articles about Protests, so in the interest of saving time, I’m skipping to recent and for now I’m just going to throw in a few fun tidbits for you to nibble on:

Ah, GreenPeace are always up for a good protest, and it appears as though  “tourism” is going to be a victim of Climate Change. Hanging banners and all.  One of the worst things that could happen when the planet warms up is that people will not have the desire to go see ANYTHING anymore.

According to this article, the Russians are shouting for work.  To our Russian friends:  In America, people don’t beg for work.  Nobody’s trying to work hard over here.  What people in the United States want is cold hard cash!  That’s capitalism, baby.

The EU appears to be much more Right now.   So, we’ll see how things turn out, but my real theory is that big gust of retardation left the United States when Bush left office and blew right over to European soil.

Speaking of our favorite Ex-prez, I have a mental visual of George W. Bush sitting in a recliner facing the window with a bratwurst and a six pack, watching his haters and his supporters duke it out in his front lawn.

Until next time…

I’m sure there was some sense of gratification for bonking this guy on the head with a tear gas canister.

To Israel: We aren’t TRYING to send anxious political activists to your lands to protest something irrelevant to them.  They have good intentions, it makes them feel noble and important, just pay your taxes or we’ll still hate you.   It is tourism…of sorts.  Just usually with stinky, dirty backpacking hippies.  And with no money.  And little or no experience in  your culture.

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