Junk Activism

Oh boy, it must be my lucky day!   Who said Friday the 13th was unlucky?  Finding news like this is a pure golden gem that makes me giddy and tickles my fancy!

Religious cults are fun.  Especially ones where the leaders have been interviewed by Bill Maher in Religulous.    If most religious belief systems didn’t seem schizophrenic and confusing before, our Latin friend De Jesus is BOTH the Second Coming of Christ… AND…. the Anti-Christ.

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Yesterday I wrote about the obnoxious hicks from Westboro Church in Kansas driving hundreds of miles to protest a high school performance of The Laramie Project. The high school staff deemed it necessary to close down the school for a day, probably fearing most the students preparing to whoop some Kansas hick ass.

To the students of Scott County: don’t think you’re getting out of learning something today just because you’re waking up at 12pm and playing video games.  Here is my lesson for you:  Everyone wants a day off of school and you’ve gotten firsthand experience in how to achieve that goal.

Perform a controversial play that inspires homophobia and a band of hateful hicks from the Midwest will come to protest……. and you will get 1 FREE DAY OUT OF CLASS!  No more need for snow days, just lure the morons to the front of your school with a few “fag” and “hell” signs.

Protesters gather outside of Lehman Brothers on 25 Bank Street in Canary Wharf, London this evening donning their Halloween Garb…. to “dance on the grave of capitalism” according to this article on Wharf.

The Anti-capitalist protest event has put the employees of 25 Bank Street on guard, being warned to “dress down” for the day or leave early to avoid the festivities.  Just show up.  Nobody will know the difference.  “Frustrated Banker”, “Suicidal Stock Broker”, “Jailed CEO”, and “Greedy Finger-Pointing Bastard in a Suit” are going to be popular costumes this year.  It can’t be too hard to blend in.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

It’s important when discussing protest to mention the effectiveness of self-immolation.  This technique of protest was made popular in modern times by Thich Quang Duc, in protest of the Vietnam war.

This is the most extreme form of protest around.  The impact of it is probably the fact you can only do it once, so you must pick a worthy cause.

I have noticed lately that the “Lighting Yourself on Fire” technique has popped up again in the news recently.  And the elderly appear to be leading the efforts.

Possibly a protest, probably not, but a former staff member of the University of Washington in Seattle, a 61 year old man died after lighting himself on fire on campus.

Come on, really? Get lessons from Thich, sir, and make it clear what you’re doing it for.  Rule number 1 of protest.

And this article about a 60 year old French woman who burned herself after her 31 year old boyfriend was deported for various crimes.

Mayor Jean-Claude Boulard ordered an investigation to be opened and said it must provide answers on “how a woman was led to make the ultimate sacrifice to save her companion”.

But I’m not sure if she planned ahead for the problems she may have caused.  One must remember, when your lover is half your age that’s all the most Global Warming they’re going to see in our lifetime.  It’s best to remain carbon neutral when making the ultimate sacrifice or you will burn us all.

Protests against Regis Philbin by the Dominican communities are up in arms against Regis today after Kelly Ripa told a story about a student of hers saying elephants represented Republicans and donkies represented Dominicans.

Regis responds: “She’s pretty close.”

A Dominican-American group is demanding an apology from the show, claiming “host Regis Philbin practically agreed with laughter over what the two thought was a joke.”

Um.  It was a joke. It was a slightly clever morning baner about children using the wrong words.  Game shows have been made from this amusing phenomenon.

So listen up, because this is pure semantics, people.  He was not calling you an ass.  Regis is aware of your activist nature and he was defending you and in fact threatening the perputrator of such ignorant comments on the behalf of children worldwide.  What he was really doing was giving a warning to all little girls about the sensitivity of Dominicans: “She’s pretty close to getting her ass kicked by a large group of pissed-off Dominicans who do NOT like to be mistakenly compared to donkies by children.”

So Dominicans, throw Regis a Lifeline this time. We must STOP THE CHILDREN.