Junk Activism

Amist all of the controversy and publicity of Michael Jackson’s death, the publicity whores at Westboro Baptist Church are licking their chops to stir up trouble and spend their congregation’s money spreading world gloom and doom at the King of Pop’s memorial.  Gee, what could rednecks from Kansas possible have against Michael Jackson?  According to their protest page, he’s an unthankful (sic) brute beast that was struck down by God according to some irrelevant Bible scripture about a Babylonian King…or something.  Aw hell, does it really matter?

It’s a good opportunity to antagonize the grieving!

As far as I understand it, Westboro Baptist has a healthy  obsession with death, and every last one of us that dies has been smite by a vengeful, seemingly immature and evil God.  So my assumption is the driving force is this sound logic:  Since God is vengeful and kills everyone, it’s necessary to spend your life shitting on everyone who is possibly emotionally vulnerable.

I don’t think Fred Phelps will go to Hell.  I think there’s a place in Heaven for him, and if God has a sense of humor, and I believe that he does, Phelps’ll be forced to write and carry protest signs inscripted “God Loves Fags” through the streets wearing ass-less chaps and a purple leather vest.

For your “LOL”, here’s their Michael Jackson protest posted on their schedule page:

Staples Center - Michael Wacko Jacko Jackson is in hell! 1111 S. Figueroa St WBC will be there to remind you to stop worshiping the dead. We will be there to tell you to Thank God for the death of this filthy, adulterous, idolatrous, gender-confused, nationality-confused, unthankful brute beast. We will be there to remind you that God Killed Wacko Jacko. There is a God, and a Day of Judgment. For you to wallow and murmur against God for his righteous Judgments is sin and will cause YOU to join Michael in hell. Stop that! Be thankful that God has not already killed you because like that Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar realized after 7 years of being cursed as a crazy wild man because he did not give God the glory warns – God will deal with you WHERE YOU LIVE if you do not put away your sins. Check this out: Daniel 4:34 And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation: 35 And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou? Praise God, and give glory until The Most Highest for ALL his works in heaven and in earth! AMEN!

Please….smite me now.

Ah, my favorite Junk Activists of all time, the Westboro Baptist Church, has one again made the news. Their protests are always good times, but to say the least I’m pretty damn confused about the point of this one.

This time they’ve turned their attentions to Portland State University to spread their message of God-fueled hatred protest Portland’s gender neutral potties.

I always thought that the only reason we have seperate bathrooms to begin with is because each gender pisses on the seat in their own way and the other doesn’t want to deal with it….and maybe Portland doesn’t care who’s making a mess anymore.   Besides, don’t we all have “gender neutral” bathrooms in our homes?  It is sinful for a man to piss in a toilet instead of a urinal?  Is it wrong for a woman to piss where a man hath spilled thine urine?  Was that in the Book of Lavatory, Chapter 6, Verse 2?

All four of them show up to protest…well, we know “to get attention” is really why:

She [Libby Phelps],  seemed to be taking the melee in stride, even welcoming the counter-protests’ attention. “I love it! It’s awesome,” she said, with a kind of giddy glee. “This is my favorite part, I love it when people come and block my sign, it’s awesome. Cause it draws so much more attention over here, and so people come over and look and be like, oh what’s the big the big fuss over there? And they’ll come over and look.”

Um, yes, it’s so much fun to travel to Oregon to get blocked, laughed at, and publicly ridiculed by a large number of peaceful Portlanders.

To Westboro Church: Kudos you on the awesome scam you’ve organized to raise funds, travelling the country to perform rainbow-flag-stomping antics.  Is this from selling M&Ms in front of the grocery store or is it Church tithing?  There is an outlet for your kind.  It’s called Jerry Springer. A perfect place for those of us who respond to our lesser indulgences of ignorance and violence.  You’ll find the perfect concoction of trash to inspire fans and violence.  Important side Note: You can throw chairs at people, too.  And I hope they throw them back.  It will make me “LOL” and “WTF”.

And thanks for the link to my site.  Please send more visitors my way, I like the attention…you know what it’s like.